Trading Day

We are trading out our old president for a new today and because I click on the NBA a lot I constantly get nba trade rumors on my google news feed. They aren’t real news which makes me mad, I mean I click google news for News, not to see how someone would feel if something else happened. Feelings and ifs aren’t news Google, you should know this. That being said, it did make me want to write about some NBA trades id like to see, and maybe some trades in other sports id also like to see. They get more silly as we go, so if you don’t like some in the beginning, just keep reading. This one got away from me, if you read this comment with whatever trade youd like to see.

In the NBA-

Dame to the 76ers. Dame and Embiid would be wild together and potentially as good as harden and Embiid would have been.

Christian Wood to the Celtics. I just wish the Celtics would have signed wood In the off season. Hes so damn good, basically a perfect current day stretch 4 which is what the Celtics need.

Aaron Gordon to the Celtics. Same as Christian wood, a 4 that hits 3s.

John Collins to the Heat. This one is actually a me original thought I think. The Hawks want to get rid of collins and I think hed fit in perfectly on the heat. Bam at the 5, Collins at the 4, Jimmy at 3, jesus that team would be unreal scrappy.

NFL-

Deshaun Watson to anywhere. If you watch the NFL you’ve seen that Watson is unhappy and probably wants out of Houston. Who wouldn’t after they trade the best WR in the league for a half broken running back and a second round pick. BUT where I want to see him the most? The 49ers. The 49ers offense moves with backups on backups on backups. If you put Watson in a 49ers uniform they at least go to the NFC championship for the next 4 years

Fun-

Trump to Russia for whoever the last leader of Russia was before Putin. Straight up we’ll give you our old leader for your old leader. How much could trump know? Its gotta be less than whatever the last leader of Russia knows. We would win this trade.

Trump to Monaco for the price of Monaco. The prince is a party animal and family man, he honestly seems like a less ambitious younger trump. Lets see what he can do in America.

MLS and MLB for the EPL. Im sorry to do this to the MLB fans but we had to throw in a little something extra on top to the English Premier League. If we can get a lesser league like the German or Spanish league for less I say we do that, but im trying to get some good soccer over here. On the plus side MLB fans, id never trade you for Cricket.

Half the NHL and 2 NFL teams for whatever the best rugby league in the world is. Same argument as the EPL things. I just want some good rugby that airs in Primetime, lemme watch live good rugby at 7pm est.

Summer and Winter Olympics for ONE Olympics. I don’t understand why we don’t do all the Olympics at once. Death Valley is hot and like 100 miles from it you can go Skiing, there aren’t more places like that on earth? Doesn’t artificial snow exist? Lets get all these events going on at once. Start swimming under the curling rink, I don’t know. Figure it out. I think doing it all at once would make it more chaotic and bigger spectacle which is all I really want. Go America.

While we’re on the Olympics, id like to trade USA gymnastics, swimming or really anything we’re good at for cooler sports. Lets get better at Soccer and maybe that’ll carry over into the Fifa world cup and I can start caring about that.

Alcohol for weed. Straight up lets just switch all the laws on both right now. Booze is worse than weed in almost every way. I never missed the toilet pooping while on weed, I have drunk. Ive never pissed the bed from weed, I have from booze. Well one time I peed the bed on weed, but that wasn’t really an accident. Nevermind.

Highways for more trains. Im fucking sick of driving, lets go back to trains. If we had more train tracks and less roads I think wed all be more happy. Long commutes to work would turn into time to get work done or read the news. Less accidents would be cool, im all in favor of insurance companies making less money. It would bring us back to a more civilized time.

I could probably do this all day, but what do yall think? Wanna trade new Mexico and Arizona for the part of Canada in between us and Alaska? Lets do it. Hawaii for Greenland? I don’t know. Lemme know if yall have any interesting trades. You want harry potter to be American? Well lets trade something for him, The rock for Harry Potter and James bond. I hate to lose the rock but we get Potter and the gang PLUS 007? Count me in.

If you have a good one, post it.

@joshkaplanjk on Instagram and twitter

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Will write for food. Not Serious but sorta serious

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Josh Kaplan

Josh Kaplan

Will write for food. Not Serious but sorta serious

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