Saturday Squeeze

Josh Kaplan
4 min readApr 3, 2021


Happy Saturday y’all, we didn’t win yesterday but we didn’t loser either! We went 5–5 bringing us to 321–325 overall. At least we stopped the bleeding of losing for now, and im feeling pretty dang good about today’s pickers and games so maybe we have some winners on the way. The only loss we had last night was the Sox game and like I said, it was the first game of the season, anything could happen and we just wound up on the wrong side. The Celtics actually won a game though and Jacob almost called the score exactly, so way to go Jacob, I didn’t watch a second of the game and they won in convincing fashion, maybe I shouldn’t watch for the rest of the year. The knicks lost but we should still start saying Knickerbocker and Maverick more, the more I think about it the more I think im going to use them both. Gotta expand that vocabulary! We have a full mix of sports today but I am trying to keep it to 5 games a day thru Monday so lets get into it.

Houston vs Baylor -5 o/u 134.5 — I gave this game to Devin to give him one last chance at also getting to pick the national championship, if he gets this wrong he doesn’t get the ship, if he gets it right he does get the ship and if he splits it who the fuck knows. Devin went with Angela from the office but ONLY the bitchy office version of her, not the real person who is nice and the under. That’s Baylor with the under here folks, I had no idea she went to baylor did you? I was hoping devin was going to pick Brittney Griner, either way GO BAYLOR.

UCLA vs Gonzaga -14 o/u 145.5 — Denis got this one and we both agreed UCLA might not win but they’ll probably cover and if they cover its going to take POINTS! So UCLA +14 and over 145.5 is the bet the blog is going with. I hope UCLA wins for a few reasons, 1) its always fun to cheer for the underdog, 2) UCLA is a blue blood school that people will actually watch, 3) I have a friend named Nikki who’s dad named her after Nic Cage, she went to and cheered for UCLA also 4) noted UCLA alumni Bill Walton is going to give out free LSD if the Bruins win. GO UCLA! Go Nikki, go Bill Walton.

Orioles vs Red sox -pickem — o/u 10 — Lauren is back for more MLB and because the game Is a pickem Lauren decided to go with the Red Sox and the UNDER 10 runs. 10 runs is a lot so under is where its at and it’s the second game of the season so just taking the sox is still cool, good pick Lauren. Lauren is also friends with UCLA alumni Nikki and will confirm that Nikki’s dad really did want a boy to name after Nic cage and that’s how she got her name, FUCKING AWESOME. I love Nikki’s dad. GO SOX.

Arsenal +195 vs Liverpool +135 D +250 o/u 2.5 — Hey soccer is back and so is Ross to pick it. Ross decided to go with Arsenal and over 2.5 goals. I trust Ross and his ability to pick games but I really wish he picked Liverpool. First of all, all the beatles in the world are from Liverpool. Second I love watching my Arsenal fan friends lose, it’s the best, soccer fans really know how to lose. They put their everything into each win and loss, it’s a lot like College Football fans. I bet college football fans and soccer fans seem very far apart on the surface but have a lot in common underneath. They all live and die for their team, every point, goal, TD, whatever, it matters to them and if you arent in the top 25 in CFB you are basically relegated. Ross you love CFB and Soccer, are they close to the same type of fan? Get back to me, GO ARSENAL.

Blackhawks +105 vs Predators -125 o/u 5.5 — I had a lot more to write about this hawks vs tigers game but im pressed for time so just know that Predators>Hawks, the animals, the movie, the military equipment, all of it! Sarah got this game selected the Predators with the OVER 5.5 goals. Whats a better movie, Predator 1 or Black hawk down? Personally im a Predator guy but black hawk down is great. Go Preds.

Baylor -5 under 134.5

UCLA +14 over 145.5

Red Sox -115 under 10

Arsenal +195 over 2.5

Predators -125 over 5.5

Picks -

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Josh Kaplan

Will write for food. Not Serious but sorta serious