Friday Finish

Thank goodness its Friday, if we are going to suck at picks I at least want it to be the weekend. We went 2–6 last night with 1 game postponed bringing us down to 316–320. We have 4 days left on this set of picks so let’s pick some winners and try not to suck, I feel like ive said this a few times now but now we are below .500 so really really try, or dont, whatever get picks the correct. I would have preferred us going 6–2 last night but either way im happy one of the numbers landed on 316 so I can make a Stone-Cold Steve Austin reference, I don’t remember why he was stone cold 316, but I do remember that sign in every crowd, even events Stone Cold wasnt at like baseball games. Also my generation grew up with the BEST wrestlers, when I was like 11 we had stone cold, mankind, undertaker and oh ya, The Rock, ever heard of him? As for our blog losses? The Bruins suck so im done putting them on the blog for the weekend, the twins blew a 5–1 9th inning lead to go from double winner to double loser and those cheater cheater pumpkin eater Astros won BIG, it kind of sucks that they cheated because of how good they are you know? Normally id say that good teams get caught cheating because you look for good teams to cheat and everyone is cheating you just don’t try to catch the last place team. The Astros were OUT of this world cheating though, barely trying not to get caught, shame shame astros, try harder at cheating.

Red sox vs Orioles +1.5 runs o/u 9.5 — Lauren says we gotta take the sox and the over on opening day and I agree with her. What’s the point of being a fan and a gambler if you don’t pick your team to win the first game of the season? We can nitpick and pull apart the sox if they suck later in the season, for now we are all about them though, also opening against one of the worst teams in the league should help. Go Red Sox, go over 9.5? Sheesh 10 runs is a lot.

Giants vs Mariners pickem o/u 8.5 — Im taking this game and im going with the Giants and under. I have no real reason except Gabe Kapler is the manager of the Giants now and he wants his team to control the time of possession in baseball which is dumb but for some reason it makes me want to take the under. Even though there is no clock in baseball any time I hear the phrase “control the time of possession” I think under, also the giants were ok last year and I have no idea how the mariners did we are takin the Giants. Go Gabe Kapler, your last name is almost cool.

Rockets vs Celtics -11 o/u 223.5 — Jacob got this game and he decided to go with the Cs-11 and under 223.5. The rockets stink, the Celtics stink and 11 points is a shit load of points. If I were a normal gambler I would stay away from this game but since I will definitely be watching it I decided to throw it on. Celtics -11 is a fine pick and under is fine too, I mean who gives a shit at this point, fuck the Celtics. Go Celtics.

Mavericks vs Knicks +5.5 o/u 213 — Denis got this one and even though the o/u is low he went with the Knicks and the under. Mavericks and Knickerbockers were both words that were used WAY more 100 years ago than right now, but I think we should bring both back. Knickerbocker should just be pants, not any type of pants, just pants and maverick can mean whatever its always meant. When I think Maverick, I think a cool outcast type person, that’s pretty accurate right? Maybe a new age gun slinger? Go Knicks +5.5 under 213.

Coyotes -120 vs Ducks +100 o/u 5.5- Rafi was supposed to pick this but didn’t respond to my texts so im taking the Ducks on his behalf because he either used to or currently does own 3 ducks. There are a lot more ducks in the world then there are coyotes and ducks are actually fiercer than most people think so I think all the ducks would kill all the coyotes in a fair fight. Also maybe its just where I live but I never see coyotes killing birds, sure they chase road runners down in the south west but not up in the north, I imagine they’ll eat anything but birds are tricky to catch, especially at night when the coyotes are out hunting. The early bird doesn’t catch the worm by staying up late. Ducks over.

Picks-

Sox -1.5 over 9.5

Giants, over 8.5

Celtics -11 under 223.5

Kicks +5.5 under 213

Ducks +100 over 5.5

@joshkaplanjk on Instagram and twitter

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Josh Kaplan

Josh Kaplan

Will write for food. Not Serious but sorta serious