Apple users confuse me
Apple fucking sucks and of course im not so much talking about the Apple products, everyone loves their products and how they work. Im talking about their practices, not the suicide nets on their factories, though those are also bad, im talking about the practices of their users. First, just to get it out of the way, I have an android phone and my friends with iphones have made fun of me for years about being poor just because my text messages come up as a different color. That’s not even what im here to talk about, though if you look down on someone for the color of their text msg yer prolly a bigot of some sort. What im here to talk about is an article I read about apples sales in 2020.
“According to projections published by USA Today from Wedbush Securities analyst Daniel Ives, the iPhone once again topped phone sales with 195 million units in 2020, an increase from 185 million in 2019”
I researched this just be sure and its true they sold 380 million Iphones in this country over the past two years and there aren’t even that many people here. Babies don’t use phones (toddlers might, im talking strictly babies) some people like my self use androids, and some still use flip phones, Dave Attell for one and my friend Ben for another. For arguments sake lets just say 250 million people in this country use Iphones, that leaves 130 million extra phones sold over the past 2 years which begs the question; What the fuck are you people doing with your iphones? Why do you need 2? Why do you need the new one? Isnt that a waste? You know about the suicide nets outside of the factories in China, right? Why the fuck are you buying so many iphones. That’s an outrageous number, especially when you factor in how much they each cost.
This article also discusses how many Ipads, echos, apple TVs and watches were sold which is all fine and good. You have 2 kids? Get 2 ipads if you can afford it. You want one of those watches that tells you when a text comes in? Go for it those are neat. HOWEVER the other thing that apple sold a shit load of that makes no sense to me is 91 million air pod units this year and 65 million the year before. That’s 155 million (give or take, math is hard) pairs of headphones sold. Headphones aren’t like phones, there a gagillion of different headphone companies, wired headphones, wireless, the sound cancelling kind, the earbud kind, TONS of variety and they sold 155 million pairs. SO again, what the fuck are you people with your earbuds? Eating them? Add in that the 91 million they sold this year cost 550 dollars a pair and that’s enough to get mad at on its own.
There is no real conclusion to this, I just wanted to bitch about apple for a few minutes. Stop buying apple products. You don’t need the new phone, your ipad works fine and if you lose one of your ear buds you don’t deserve a new pair of 500 dollar head phones.
@Joshkaplanjk on twitter and instagram
